Imagine spending all day at the beach with your boyfriend, your skin soaked up by the sun and then when it get’s a bit cooler you and him just lay on bed, still warm from the time at the beach and your hair still salty from the sea and you just fall asleep perfectly.
need
want
I miss summer.
want this
I hope one day 5 years from now you stumble across me when I’ve grown out of you and finally then after not seeing me for all this time it will break your heart.
And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.
The worst kind of good bye is the kind that you don’t expect.
The worst is when you don’t even consider it an option, because four months ago he was telling you that you were the love of his life and now the word forever isn’t even uttered from his lips. Four months ago he was looking at you like you put the sun in the sky and now he looks at you like he cant wait for the sun to set and leave the skies over his head.
The worst kind of good bye is the kind that you dread. You feel it leaking into every crevice of your heart and you’ll try not to talk because you can hardly take a breath in, let alone beg him to stay while he’s stabbing wounds like “it’s over” and “I can’t do this anymore”. You’re holding in your tears and replacing them with anger and words with a lot more bite than bark like “fine okay leave Jesus Christ I don’t even want you anymore”. And he’ll look at you all sad because you both know you’re lying but God fuck if he’s going to leave then just rip off the fucking band aid don’t wait around to see if the wound will heal.
The worst kind of good bye is the kind that echoes through your body months later because he left his fingerprints on parts of your body that you couldn’t expect like the back of your eyelids or the spaces between your fingertips. The worst kind of good bye is the kind that enters like a bullet but crawls it’s way out like blood from a cut. You feel it everywhere and you let it haunt you because you’d rather picture him saying “good bye” a million times than not be able to see him at all.
The worst kind of good bye is the kind that he left you, because no matter what you do you can’t seem to press the right buttons to rewind or close your fists hard enough to shove the words back into his mouth and replace it with the love you could’ve sworn he once felt.
